Monday 9 May 2016

Treacherous Tricks on Tapas Trail. Calle Cortada Causes Chaos. Álora in turmoil.



Well, at last all the excitement is over and we know the results. The votes have been counted under even more intense scrutiny that in previous contests and we have a clear winner. Our popular and handsome alcalde (mayor) José  Sánchez Moreno (no relation) personally supervised the counting of the voting papers to choose The Best Tapa on the VI Ruta de la Tapa which took place over three days last weekend. And here it is:


                          Milhojas de berenjenas con bechamel y queso gratinado.

Each one of the 22 bars and restaurants (which paid their entry fee) provided a special tapa and a drink (beer, wine or a refresco (soft drink) all  for only 2€. The bars stood to win a 300€ prize if the  Ruta followers voted for their particular offering on a special 'Tapasporte' (pronounced 'tapasporty') which was stamped  every time they went to a different establishment.


                                                          The 'Tapasporte'

There was also a 300€ prize for the 'best service' and a 200€ prize for the 'best cocktail'.
Most of the bars tried really hard to make something unusual and appetising and original. The winning delicacy, which is called 'moussaka' in Greece, was a surprise winner.

Sadly, this year's Ruta was marred by a 'dog whistle ' campaign led by person or persons unknown to influence the vote. Last year's winner was Casa Abilio with its 'Lingote de queso de cabra y foie con mermelada de mango.' (a gold ingot of goat's cheese and foie gras with a mango preserve). It was a worthy winner.
Last Sunday, whilst tucking into a tasty tapa, we were sidled up to by a fellow 'rutista' (she knows who she is) who tapped her nose in Eric Idle fashion and whispered scurrilous and mendacious aspersions about the provenance of a certain tomato-shaped tapa which I can not name. I can only imagine that she was in the pay of a rival establishment or bore a long standing grudge against **** ****** after, for example,  making the mistake of misordering a bottle of Export Guinness, thus causing a big fuss and resulting in the customer being banned sine die...but that's only a theory. I heard it from a reliable sauced (sic).

I am pleased to say that a special prize for  Creación Más Innovadora (most inventive creation) was given to Casa Abilio.
Here we see the scrutineers counting the votes. Nice to see that Gregorio from Casa Abilio found time to be on the panel.



Mrs. Sánchez and I managed to collect 9 stamps which qualified us for the Gran Sorteo (big draw). The first prize was a 43 inch telly. Guess what! Mrs. Sánchez won a 20€ voucher (redeemable at one of the participating establishments). Unfortunately Mrs.S.  entered under a 'nom de tapa'' ('Mori') She  can not prove her identity and so will forfeit the prize.
¡Vaya mala suerte!. (What bad luck!)

The weather here has been dreadful for days. Our house guest, Colin, is going back to Liverpool tomorrow for some sun. To make matters worse, Calle Algorrobo, a main section of the Álora Internal Bypass has been closed to traffic and pedestrians because a 30 foot wall is about to collapse into the street. Three families who live opposite the wall  were moved out and put up in Hostal Durán until experts assessed the gravity of the problem, which, of course, IS the problem.

                                       Calle Algarrobo closed for the forseeable future.

 After a few days Ines managed to convince officials at the Ayuntamiento (town hall) that her plants needed watering and so they were all allowed back and can now come and go as they please. The street remains closed to everyone  else for reasons of safety but the vecinos (neighbours) can take their chances. A rather permanent- looking sign has gone up on  the approach to Álora warning that Calle Algorrobo is closed. We're in for a long wait.

A few years ago a popular Brit called Corned Beef Keith watched his back wall collapse into Calle Toro (Bull Street), another key section of our circulatory system. The road remained blocked for many long months while Keith (who gained his pithy sobriquet by selling tins of hard- to- get British delicacies) refused to do anything about it, blaming the council for the problem. Keith died in tragic circumstances and his collection of tins was confiscated to cover the cost of the repairs, I am told.

I am rather wary of making any comments about our Ayuntamiento and, in particular, our popular and handsome Alcalde (mayor) José (Epi) Sánchez Moreno (no relation) after receiving a rather snotty comment from a Perote (Alorenian) who now lives in London (¡Vaya lugar mierdioso!).He  thinks I keep having a go at my good friend Epi and his very capable and hardworking team. As if!



Epi was out doing the biz at the opening of an exhibition put on by 'The Independent Artists of Álora.' Here he is sharing a joke or two with two of his admirers at the 'Opening' last Friday night. Epi is on the left.



This annual exhibition gives local artists a chance to display their work and sell a picture or two. It's a pity that this year it's been moved from the Casa de Cultura to the 'Alora La Bien Cercada' club which is rather hidden away and will not attract as many art lovers with spare cash. (Viewing 5.00pm-8.00pm. daily (not Sunday).
Mrs.S. and I couldn't go to the 'Opening' as she's a bit under the weather at the moment. I felt obliged to stay by her sick bed thereby missing a few free copas and  tasty tapas.

Bar news 

El Lagar  in the Barriada (del Puente) was on La Ruta de la Tapa. Cristóbal's creation was very tasty and deserved to win. It was a giant prawn on a bed of mixed seafood salad. He had sold 400 portions by Saturday. El Lagar is a marisquería (specialises in seafood).



El Lagar
 
El Lagar refers to the area on the opposite side of the river to Álora. It used to be the centre of sweet wine production round here and they say you can still buy the stuff if it's your cup of tea. These days Lagareños (people from El Lagar) are the butt of many unfathomable jokes along the lines of 'Irish' jokes in England 'Aberdonian' jokes in Scotland and 'sheep' jokes in Wales. Here's an example.
'All this rain we're having is because all the Lagareños are fat'. Beats me!
Perhaps 'Lorenzo' over in London can explain it.

Bar El Cirineo on Calle Santa Ana is proving very popular, particularly with members of the hermandades of Jesús and Dolores. The tasteful selection of crucifixion scenes and photos of Semana Santa processions is pulling them in in droves. I was in there on Saturday night and they were showing videos on the telly of the Easter processions. I think you can bring your own videos and everybody can watch them ...'¡Qué guay!. The food there is good and their 'Ruta' tapa was scrumptious and generous...a fried quail's egg on top of a slice of Serrano ham on top of fried potatoes with some chorizo - a mini Full English!

Pie News..............'Pies' spotted in Álora supermarket.



Empanadas de Carne (meat pies) are on sale in Mercadona.
Not pies as we know them, though. The sign says: 'may contain traces of fish'. I've just eaten one. They should add 'may not contain traces of meat'.

I have recently made contact with a manufacturer of bread and cakes who is very enthusiastic about making some meat pies to order. All I have to do is supply the filling and he will 'pie it up' (as we say in the pie business). Fortunately his bakery is just next door to El Lagar and Cristóbal can supply such delicious fillings as 'Carillada', 'Magro' and 'Cocido'. Inexplicably Señor Bun (the baker) refused to entertain the idea of a steak and kidney pie. Both he and Cristóbal looked horrified at such a combination.
Anyway, it's early days and I'll let you know when the first pie is born. We may need to do some work on the pie shape and the pastry.

Finally, this week's  'catchphrase' rebus.


Photographed in Bar El Güeno in Malaga. Which popular 4 word phrase comes to mind?
Answers, as usual, in a plain brown envelope, addressed to me with  the usual 20€ administration fee.

Juanito Sánchez May 9th. 2016