Monday 23 September 2013

Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition

Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition




Yesterday we went to Casarabonela, a small picturesque town in the Sierra de las Nieves about 20 km. from Álora.

                                                                     Casarabonela

 This weekend they are having a Recreación Histórica 2013 Inquisición en Casarabonela 1560. (A 2013 historic recreation of the Inquisition in Casarabonela). 300 locals are dressing up in period costumes and the town square has been converted into an espacio escénico to commemorate the arrival of the notorious and dreaded Spanish Inquisition in the town in 1560 on the hunt for heretics, blasphemers, bigamists, horse smugglers, freemasons , moriscos, crypto- jews, witches,sodomites solicitors and foreigners. If the espacio escénico is authentic, they would have been pleased to find in the town square; a bread shop, a cheese shop, six bars, an olive oil shop, a tea shop, a small prison and a tourist information office.



On our arrival a young lad on crutches (not a costume as it turned out) led us to a shed where I was interrogated by a shifty fellow in a big hat who asked my name (I told him 'Pedro' - a lie) and then I  was invited to stand in a cell. Apparently I was being accused of one of the above indiscretions but none was specified. This was fun and a good start to the afternoon until it became clear that the lad was demanding money and wouldn't let me out until I gave him 1 maravedí  which  turns out to be about 1€ in new money. I told him to keep the change and was given my certificate of release by el inquisidor.

                                                            the view from my cell


                                                                  my release papers


Mrs. Sanchez reckons I got off lightly considering the charges.

Everyone was having a jolly old time drinking local beer and eating local tapas but mostly taking photos with their phones, tablets and cameras. Most of the locals were either dressed as moriscos or  16th. century Christians except for a rather glamorous young woman who had clearly mistranslated the poster and looked liked Edith Crawley off Downton Abbey. She was with a nice young chap in bloomers and high heels (circa 1475. The White Queen?) who wouldn't have lasted 5 minutes if Torquemada had spotted him clacking across the cobbles. The same applies to a German Jehovah's  Witness Estate Agent I spotted. (Got him on three counts at least).
I approached three pretty morisco girls chatting and smoking on the church steps. I asked the prettiest to explain something in my programme but  her chewing gum got stuck on  it and the moment was lost.  How we all laughed.

                                             Inquisitor asking tourist if he is a sodomite







                                       "Watch out if they offer you a spot of relaxation, girls"




At a given signal the Escenification história. Escena 6 began. Some women had an argument  and an old lady was marched away by a couple of priests and four burly soldiers. I bought some cheese and we went home.




The weekend of events in Casarabonela is another of the village initiatives which have appeared all over Málaga Province. Some have been runnng for a few years and they are all a way of attracting tourism (mainly from other towns and villages) and so generating income. Álora has it's 'Sopas Perotas Day' (October 5th.). Almogía has 'The Day of the Almonds', Alozaina has 'The Day of the Olives', El Burgo 'The Bandaleros' and  Los Bobos has 'The Day of the Village Idiot'. Good luck to them all I say.

The Spanish Inquisition really did come to Casarabonela in 1560. They were looking for Moriscos (moors who had converted to christianity.) and in 1560 Casarabonela was full of them.

Ferdinand and Isabela (Los Reyes Católicos) finally conquered Spain with the fall of Granada in 1492. At that time moors and Christians had lived reasonably well together down here but Ferdinand and Isabela had  already expelled Jews (about 40,000) who would not convert to Christianity from Spain by 'The Alhambra Decree' (1492) (finally rescinded in 1968)

Moors or arabic people had lived in Andalucía since the invasion in 711 but F&A wanted to get rid of them all so they set up The Tribunal of The Holy Office of the Inquisition in 1478 which set about ethnically cleansing Spain and later its colonies.

                                                     The Seal of the Spanish Tribunal


The original Inquisition had been set up by the papacy in the 12th. century to stamp out heresy in France. The Spanish version was mostly aimed at Jews and Moors. There weren't many heretics in Spain as Protestantism never caught on, but any of the above would do as long as they had a healthy bank balance ; the Spanish Inquisition had no budget and depended on confiscation of money, land and property. "If they do not burn they do not eat". Its most famous 'Grand Inquisitor' was Tomás de Torquemada, a Dominican friar from Valladolíd who looks a bit of a bruiser. There is a posh hotel nearly named after him in Benalmádena.
 Between 1560 and 1571 82% of those accused by the Spanish Inquisition were Moriscos.


                                                                      Torquemada

Anyone seems to have been able to denounce a crypto-jew or false morisco. Suspicion could fall on you if there was no smoke from your chimney on Saturday, you bought meat from a 'converted' morisco or you ate a lot of vegetables. Everybody ate as much pork product as they could when anyone was looking.

This is how it worked.
Quite unexpectedly the Spanish Inquisition would arrive at your town to hear accusations. Everyone would be given 40 days 'to relieve their consciences' and/or accuse others of some transgressions. All accusations were anonymous and the accused were not told why they were being arrested. Sounds a bit unfair so far doesn't it?





the garrucha and the rack



Then came detention in a secret prison in the nearest main Inquisition centre for up to 2 years while all your property was confiscated and you were 'encouraged' to make a clean breast of it. A trial  then took place which would often involve torture. It may be a fine point but they say that torture was not used as a punishment but only as a means of interrogation. So that's all right then.
The three most popular tortures were:

the garrucha where the 'defendant' was hung by his/her wrists and periodically dropped short distances. Sometimes weights were attached to the feet. This tended to dislocate the joints a bit.  
The potro (rack) was stretching things a bit far, too, although some participants found it quite therapeutic in the initial stages. (see also osteopathy.)
The toca involved sticking a cloth in the mouth of the interrogee and pouring water on it, giving the impression of drowning (see also waterboarding).

I think they all sound unpleasant.



                                                     A  Wacky Warehouse circa 1560

Sentences ranged from acquitted (rare) to relaxation (ha ha wait for it!).

In between were:

penanced : guilty but made to work on the galleys (average survival rate 5 years) or exiled etc.
reconciled : long jail sentence, flogging, whipping, confiscation of property, chinese burn etc.

Relaxation meant that you were turned over to the local council for burning at the stake unless you  begged for mercy and then you might get off with a garrotting. The church didn't carry out executions. They were, after all, Christian gentlemen in Holy Orders. Some people were convicted in their absence and burned in effigy. This sounds a good deal better than the other outcomes and could have avoided all that stretching and drowning, not to mention burning. My choice every time.

The executions took place at an auto de fé which was a bit like an Olympic Closing Ceremony held in a McDonald's.  Estimates of people burned in person in Spain vary from 3,000 to 28,450 depending on who you ask and how much Cruzcampo they have necked.
As Leonard Bernstein said in his musical version of 'Candide'; It's a lovely day for burning and watching people fry".


                                               An auto de fé in Valladolid 21st. May 1559

As for the poor old moriscos of Casarabonela, the ones who survived the 1560 inquisition were all ethnically cleansed in  1609 when hundreds of thousands of them were expelled from Spain following the Morisco Rebellion of 1568. Casarabonela was repopulated by people from Seville with promises of free housing, as much callos as they could eat and a bit of street theatre.

The Spanish Inquisition was abolished in 1834 although General Franco wanted to bring it back.

September 23rd. 2013

Monday 16 September 2013

No spitting on the Álora Bus

 
 
No Spitting on the Álora Bus
 
 
 
I was walking  though the Plaza Baja the other morning with Tommy. As we  were about level with the doorway to Antonio and Flores's corner shop a sizeable glob of spìt shot out of the door and into the road. It missed my left cheek by 40cm. The woman said 'Perdón' so that was that.

It happened to Samuel Pepys too:

"here I am, sitting behind in a dark place, a lady spit backward upon me by a mistake, not seeing me, but after seeing her to be a very pretty lady, I was not troubled at it at all."

Spitting (escupiendo) is still very common here in Álora. A few  years ago we woke every morning to the sound of our neighbour Pedro passing our bedroom window with a long bubbly  clearing  of the throat and a big spit. He died and we use a clock now.
It's still very common to see people spitting in the street here. Someone narrowly missed my foot the other day. It's a good job people don't have fitted carpets around here, what with all the dog muck, horse muck, cow muck, cat pee, candle wax and gob. Even the latest Dyson would  struggle to keep up.
Yesterday afternoon I passed a chap standing in the Plaza de la Fuente Arriba  (top square) eating pipas (sunflower seeds) and spitting out the husks. He was going at it like the clappers and had obviously developed a technique. It is a common sight here. I often come across a carpet of pipa shells on the ground. Some people can get though a half pound bag in a matter of minutes. There's even  a competition for speed- eating sunflowers seeds.

 
Contestants at the annual Alora sunflower eating competition

There's one for cherry stone spitting  (the record is 96 feet 6.5 inches (29.45 metres)and cricket spitting (the record is 32 ft. 5 inches (9.766 metres).

It's not really spitting, though, is it?

Proper spitting ie. expectoration, gobbing,flobbing or hawking, often preceded by a 'gutteral growl´ is now frowned on in many countries. Until 1990 spitting in a public place was a criminal offence in the UK carrying a five pound fine. Eric Pickles is backing a campaign in Enfield to bring in a new ban.
They are trying to ban it in China too.
Apparently it's OK to spit if you're doing sporty things unless you spit at someone on purpose, like Wayne Rooney who now has a criminal record for spitting at a photogapher who wasn't playing football .

 
Wayne Rooney
 
When we were kids we used to spit a lot. We had contests. It was always a good idea to avoid people with colds. In those days there were signs in buses saying 'No Spitting'.
Spitting was associated with TB which was also a feature of the good old days.


 

Mrs. Sánchez has a friend whose family had a farm at Strinesdale  on the hills just outside Oldham. There was a TB hospital and an 'open air school' up there for children with TB or 'delicate health'. The patients used to take walks and spit in the surrounding fields  Apparently the cows contracted TB from the spit and had to be put down . The farm went bankrupt and the farmer (her dad)died from TB.

On a more cheerful note, today was  Romería (procession) day in Álora. The festivities  got going with some more loud explosions which Tommy enjoyed no end and now he refuses to go outside. Down at the bottom of our Street La Virgen de las Flores (The Virgin of the Flowers; one of Álora's two patron virgins)was being placed on her bullock cart which was then decorated with flowers. Two big strapping cows that looked like bulls were strapped to the cart. At 10.o'clock the procession started up Calle Atrás. The cows were encouraged to walk up the steep hill by men with pointed sticks.
 
                                            Calle Benito Suarez 9.30am.


Up in the top square the virgin was greeted by hundreds of fans, many of them wearing beautiful flamenco dresses or traditional riding suits. (trajes típicos) (prizes for the best!) and twenty or so carrozas pulled by tractors, 4x4s, bullocks, horses and donkeys. (prizes for these to). Polka dots (lunares ) on everything.

 
Inside una carroza
 
 
 Un burro aburrido


 
Tres guapas
 
 
 
                                                               La multitud


Then off they all walked or rode up to the convento fairground. Two hours to go about a mile. The carrozes are equipped with fridges full of beer or  Manzanilla wine (a dry fino from Sanlúcar de Barrameda). We went home for a bit and drove up later to the convento which still has a very worrying big crack in the bell tower.


 
Ana Molina working in the El Capirote caseta. 
 
 
The convento fairground
 

 
Caballeros
 
It's a public holiday tomorrow
 
 
All over for another year.
 
 
20 por ciento de descuento en una selección de ordenadores portátiles
I went to Carrefour yesterday in Malaga because I saw their advert in the Sur newspaper.  "20% off 5000 laptops" it read. When I got there they had 12! 'What about the 5000?'  I asked. 'That refers to the number in all our branches'. said the lad. Carrefour has 9994 branches.
It's enough to make you want to spit.
 
16th. September 2013
 


Tuesday 10 September 2013

New pizza delivery service opens in Álora

New pizza delivery service opens in Álora
 


September 8th. is  'The Day of the Virgin of the Flowers'. She is the patron virgin of Álora and the build up to her day and the following week form the second biggest event of the year. I almost wrote 'religious year' but most festivals here involve the Virgin Mary in one guise or another and always with a large, well developed baby Jesus in her arms.
Tommy is, as far as I know, non religious. Every evening last week a nice chap in a striped flat cap has been letting off exploding rockets around tea time. You can feel your eardrums meet in the middle of your head such is the pressure wave created. Tommy does not associate the explosions with the Virgin of the Flowers. He associates them with tea time and, sadly, with me because we have been eating outside in the garden at tea time. You work it out. He's a dog. Now he won't even go outside, even for a sausage. Since Sunday the bangs have stopped but Paco still has a few left and will let them off next Sunday morning to signal the start of the Romería. Now that is worth a few painful petardos.




                               La Virgen de Las Flores (and child) coming out of the church.

Nuestra Señora de las Flores spends most of the year up at the Convento on the Ardales road but she comes down to la Parroquia (parish church) at the end of August for lots of masses, massed bands and massive bangs. Thousands of people followed the procession on Sunday night.


Our next door neighbour, Catalina,  is la camarera de la virgen (in charge of the whole shebang). That's her next to the alcalde José Sánchez (no relation) and the police chief.

Mrs. Sánchez and I were there too. We followed her as far as our front door. Keen observers may have noticed someone standing on the balcony of the estanco (tobacconist) on the corner of the square.

 
This is the balcony which collapsed during the other big event of the year, La Despedía. It has now been rebuilt and is safe, apparently. It's been painted red, too.

 
When is a balcony not a balcony?
 
 
Everybody is hoping that the weather will keep fine for Sunday. The Romería procession (lots of horses, decorated carts and caravans) starts from our street and takes a couple of hours to reach the Convento where there will be a massive party. The weather forecast is worryingthough.
 
A bit of good news. Los Caballos Dos (the bar) reopened yesterday and I managed to buy some sardines at the new pescadería.
 
11th. September 2013.
 




Thursday 5 September 2013

How're you gonna keep 'em down in the fishmonger's now that they've seen Brussels.


How're you gonna keep 'em down in the fishmonger's now that they've seen Brussels





We have arrived back in Álora after a problem free journey. The good ship Pont Aven enjoyed a calm sea and only a playful SW wind in the Bay of Biscay.

                                       
                                                            Our cabin

The cabaret in the Grand Pavois Bar was of the usual high standard. Mrs. Sánchez particularly enjoyed the young chap demonstrating his skill with a football. He could make it land on the back of his neck over and over again. We couldn't see what else he was getting up to because we were at the back of the room where there was enough light to read a book, eat our sandwiches and drink the wine we had bought in the duty free shop. His friend, who had provided a commentary for the footy tricks,  then captivated the elderly but easily entertained  audience by making noises into a microphone and dancing around. He said it was a kind of boxing but no-one got hurt. I know how he did it too.

http://www.howcast.com/videos/186496-How-to-Make-Basic-Beatbox-Sounds.

Tommy was locked in a cage on the top deck for most of the voyage. He seems to enjoy the company of fifty or so other canine captives barking and howling away day and night. Dog owners can visit their pets at any time and take them for a walk on the special dog deck.


                                                            Dog Deck

Usually there is a howling gale up there and we huddle together in a sheltered corner while our best friends sniff around and do the neccessary. This time the good weather and crowded ship encouraged a few sun worshippers to bring chairs up to the doggy deck and sit in the sun sipping shandies, sangría et cetera.  Imagine my horror when Tommy took a fancy to a young lady's handbag. 'It's peed in my handbag!'
she exclaimed. This only encouraged one of a pair of golden retrievers to follow suit. How we laughed.

Using a well rehearsed plan involving communication by mobile telephones with our neighbours, Harry and Wilma we managed to park right outside our Spanish residence. (the scooter blocking my space was easily moved). I did a big shop at Mercadona while Mrs. Sánchez started the unpacking. We were expecting a call from our friend Ana to invite us for a meal (usually immediately; she always seems to know when we arrive) but none came until 1.30pm. today. 'La comida a las dos y media' (lunch at half past two). And very nice it was too.

Ensalada de judías verdes y patatas (green bean and potato salad)
Ensalada de tomates (tomato salad)
Callos (Chick peas with tripe, chorizo, pig's feet, black pudding, onions, garlic
Flan (creme caramel)

and cold beer.

After a short siesta the explosions started ,  announcing the daily mass for Nuestra Señora de las Flores,(Our lady of the Flowers) our patrón virgin. Tommy is a bit disturbed by the bangs. I think his nerves are shot after 24 hrs. in stir.The big day will be on Sunday 15th. September when the Romería takes place. More about that later.

I am devastated to find that the Pescadería Hierrezuelo has shut for ever. (another explosión and Tommy (and another) jumps (another, and I  did that time too). This is getting beyond a joke and the church bells are clanging now.

The Hierrezuelo family have been selling fish in Álora for several generations. I have a photograph in front of me showing Antonio Hierrezuelo selling fresh fish from a trestle table in the Calle Atrás in about 1945. The recently closed shop was directly opposite the stall.



The brothers Antonio and Joachím and their wives will be missed by many hundreds of perotes. Why has the shop shut? Not because of La Crisis. The shop was always packed except on Mondays when they only had frozen fish. It appears that there are no Hierrezuelos  willing to run the business. Antonio's lad has got a job in Brussels.


                                               Antonio Hierrezuelo

In the former Benetton shop in La Plaza de la Fuente Arriba a sign has gone up saying 'PROXIMA APERTURA PESCADERÍA (Fishmonger opening soon). I went to the only other fresh fish shop I know today for some sardinas. Sold out! Just as well we got invited to Ana's.

Tomorrow our daughter and family arrive for a stay of 3 nights.  On Saturday night there is a mass in the church for the Virgin of the Flowers  followed  by a do at the HQ of the Dolores Hermandad with food and drink and a competition for the best flamenco outfits. I shall be trying to persuade Mrs. Sánchez to wear her traje.

On 16th. September there will be a holiday to celebrate the arrival of the railway at Álora in 1863. This was a great event, allowing fresh fish to be brought every day and Frank Sinatra and Trevor Howard to go up to El Chorro to film the final scenes of Von Ryan's Express . 'Come on Ryan!'

5th.September 2013